Learning every day

The last three weeks have been a beautiful blur. My heart feels wonderfully buffered by my support system. I read this list today and thought of all the essential truth it provides. I wish I would have taken it to heart sooner:

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.

4. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

5. Pay off your credit cards every month.

6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.

8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.

9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.

10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.

12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.

13. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.

15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.

16. Life is too short for long pity parties. Get busy living, or get busy dying.

17. You can get through anything if you stay put in today.

18. A writer writes. If you want to be a writer, write.

19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.

20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.

21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.

22. Overprepare, then go with the flow.

23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.

24. The most important sex organ is the brain.

25. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.

26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: "In five years, will this matter?"

27. Always choose life.

28. Forgive everyone everything.

29. What other people think of you is none of your business.

30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.

31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

32. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.

33. Believe in miracles.

34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.

35. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.

36. Growing old beats the alternative - dying young.

37. Your children get only one childhood. Make it memorable.

38. Read the Psalms. They cover every human emotion.

39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.

41. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

42. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.

43. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.

44. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

45. The best is yet to come.

46. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

47. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

48. If you don't ask, you don't get.

49. Yield.

50. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.

My new heart, the one God gave me after the other one broke :), tells me that its okay to have a simple pleasure kind of life. Before Joseph died I was so focused on all the "stuff" that I had added to my days. Mainly good things: job, kids, church callings, extra kid stuff (soccer, tball, swim lessons, etc), housekeeping, personal enrichment, and anything else I could cram in there. These things in addition to the other things in my life were where I derived a sense of satisfaction for a job well done, or better yet, they made me feel accomplished. After Joseph died I was laying in the hospital bed and all I wanted was my boys. My arms literally ached for them. I wanted to feel their hands in mine, or their small voices whispering " i love you". I wanted to kiss Sam's chubby fingers, enjoy the breadth of Michael's smile, and feel the comfort of Jarom's hugs. My new heart knows that my smallest treasures are my greatest joys. I am re-evaluating the important things to me. I think everyone does this now and again. I feel like that is what is great about the life God gave us you can change your mind or your course however, and whenever you want. I hope that I can look back at this experience in my life in five, ten, or fifteen years from now and say, "that is when I started living my BEST life."
I think that's Joseph's legacy to our family. What a great gift!!!!!!