Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Life is like a box of Chocolates!

M is one of the single most joyous beings in my life! He has the abilty to help me see what my "old" eyes have forgotten. Life is about discovery, finding something yummy in every situation, and being carefree is sometimes the only way to be. He recently turned one so I am compelled by natural law to think back on his birth. On Nov. 21, 2005 I went early to Saint Elizabeth Hospital in Lafayette, Indiana. Jason was in his Graduate studies, but today was all about family. Dr. Genaris had decided that because J was so big, and had broken his clavicle on the way out it would be better to take M a few weeks early. Lucky me, I got to pick the date that M arrived into the world!
My experience in the hospital was pretty typical of any woman who labors in a hospital. I was monitored and allowed to walk on my own until I decided to get my epidural. Let us pause for a moment and give thanks to the man, who through divine inspiration created the epidural....Thank you I will return to my story. Around 5 p.m. I asked for my dream drug, and all went well with the procedure. I was feeling less contraction pains, and was able to focus more on having a beautiful baby boy. My Doctor came back to check me around 6 p.m. and decided that I wasn't progressing on my own and therefor would "break" my water for me. He was very quick and once my water broke labor went very quickly. My contractions came strong and on top of each other, and for once in my "laboring" life I could feel the contrations, not as painful as I thought, but I did have the miracle drug. Everyone hurried to set things up and I felt M ready to go. There was one moment that I felt like if I just pushed a little I could have had him out, but they (the crusty nurse) wouldn't let me. So I had to focus and try to NOT push, very hard to do when you are fully dialated and effaced. The time came that I was allowed to push and with a few good ones M was born 8:03 p.m. It was the best feeling in the world to have him laying with me. He of course, was crying, a natural past time for him, but I was able to quite him. I remember just looking at him and saying over and over, "its okay baby, mommas here" He really responded to my voice and then gave me a very trusting look. From that moment even until this day I know that M was my special gift from God, a way to let me know that He trusts me with his sweet spirits. I can hardly remember that moment without feeling a tear on my cheek. Everyday with my boys brings me closer to discovering something new about the nature of God. Its like choosing a chocolate from a colorful box...what will it be inside?? I am in love with my little box of Chocolates, what will be our next discovery?

Sunday, October 29, 2006

Parenting Advice on aisle 3

Who knew that Wal Mart was in the business of giving free parenting advice?? I know I didn't. I went in to buy a carseat and was chastized by a customer service associate for putting my child in harms way. All because I wanted to purchase a display model carseat rather than on in a box. Well, lets look past the fact that I have been going to the WM for about four weeks trying to buy this exact model which I now learn is being discontinued mainly for cloth pattern rather than safety. Anyway, the associate tells me that it is illegal for him to sell me a floor model, and didn't I realize that those laws were, " in place for the safety of my child." The latter is an exact quote. Now, I won't mention the general apperance of said associate, but I find it hard to believe that he would be in a position to give me parenting advice. In the deepest regions of my heart I want to scream and rant and complain about how he didn't know anything about me or my child. I don't think that it ever would have occour to this man that I had suffered a great deal in order to give birth to the child for whom the purchase was for. I doubt that he could have ever know that I longed for this baby, and have been attentive to his every need since before he was born. I think that it would have been hard for this man to feel the love that I have for not just this baby, but my older son as well. I think that the love you feel for your children is intense, and as close to God-like love you will ever feel. I don't believe for one minute that this man would ever know how I sobbed the first night that my baby slept in his own room, or how I thank God for every moment that I exsist in the presence of my children.
So, in response to his criticism I didn't the one thing that my father impressed upon me-tell a manager. Needless to say I was so angry for the feelings that I was having that I cired, oh yeah! I cried, like a little preschool girl. I couldn't beleive myself. All that anger, and I was crying!!! Once, I got in my car I started to think who was this guy to judge me? Then the progression of my thoughts led me to judge him, I began in my mind to think very critically of him. I was shocked at myself. I mean I am nearly 28 and I am playing an adult version of name calling. I wanted to scream, "sticks and stones...." but instead I remembered a talk from Elder Bednar in the last General Conference. He spoke very directly and with conviction that there is no offense unless we make it one. I started to think of others reasons for this mans comments and I began to see him not as a hideous being, but rather just another guy trying to provide for his family, and doing his job as he was instructed. All that hurt that I felt, and disrespect literally dissolved. How nice would this world be if everyone took five seconds to put themselves in anothers place. I doubt that there would be a conflict among us. I know that I wouldn't have to worry about my brother serving in the armed forces being killed by militants, because war wouldn't exsist and militant would probably be slang for "cool", or "hot guy", or something less dangerous. I would challenge all of us to stop when offended, and try to think from the others perspective.
I want to end with a quote from Eleanor Roosevelt, " understanding is a two way street."

Thursday, October 26, 2006

Weight Watchin' Day 1

This face explains it all!!! Who loves to diet raise your hands! You're all liars!!!!;-) So first of all, this is a picture of my son when he was about three months old. As you guessed from the picture he is not a happy camper, and today neither am I.
After over a year of horrible eating, poor exercise, and well the dreaded baby poundage I have decided to go back to Weight Watchers(R). January 2005 I first joined WW and I fell in love ,it was so incredibly easy, not to mention affordable. I chugged along losing on average 2+ lbs. a week and then around March 2005 it became very difficult to lose the weight. I would count my points very carefully and even double check them I could not figure it out. Well, on Easter Day I found out that I was pregnant-well, that explains the difficulty losing one stinkin', flippin' pound. I was actually very excited and a little nervous, but proceeded to tell Dh and he was thrilled.
I continued about my life have a very "healthy" nine months, eating everything that I could get my hands on, and by the time I had my sweet little boy (nov.2005), I had gained a whopping 30 lbs. Oh yes! Ladies and Gentlemen you read that right 30 big ones! Not to mention the fact that I wanted to nurse him as I had my older son, so pack on another 10-12 lbs. for the milk guns-not a pretty pic.
Well, today I thought that I would return to what has served me well in the past-WeightWatchers, WW as it will be referred to. I have done really well today, but I have to say that I am just no use to telling myself "no!" when it comes to food. That old adage that you are eating for two should be srticken from the books never to be mentioned again! It gives you a very false sense of what is an acceptable eating habit when you are pregnant. Of course, I cannot blame it all on old wives tales, I partly blame it on the cookie-pushin dealers at Toll House (R). What were you thinking putting cookie dough in a tube????? I would carry that stuff in my purse if I didn't fear salmonella poisoning so much-eek! Truth is, that I became complacent about my eating habits and didn't take the time to feed my body rather than my emotions. My first day at WW the group leader said, "Nothing tastes as good as thin feels." I think that she was right and while it was a difficulty and sometimes hungry day I need to keep that phrase in my mind. I have a desperate need to be healthy for my children. I want to be presentable for my husband but I want to be present for my children. I think of all the americans who eat themselves into health problems that can totally be avoided and I feel a little sad. Time to stop being a statistic and start being who I know I really am. This is my journey...