Something Fun

I found myself yesterday morning with the urge to sew something. I have been hesitant to actually sew since late June. At that point, all my focus had been centered around cute baby blankets and other crafts. I went to JoAnn's before the first session of conference and saw this fabric. I immediately thought off all the wonderful handmade blankets that my mil had made for my boys. I found myself getting a little sad that there would be no more blankets sewed with GrandMary's love. We have lots of family and lots of people love my kids, but I cherish a blanket that my Grandma Mollus crocheted for me.
Anyway, this quick blanket was made for my sweet nephew Trevor. He was born one month after Joseph. When I think of him I can't help but think of my little boy as well. So, it took no time to create something with love for him, since I can't make it for mine who is no longer with us. I hope it becomes a much loved cuddle blanket. It's the hug I would give Trevor if he were near. What a special little man.

Check it out!

I have to put a plug in for a crafty and talented friend of mine. She just launched her own site, click here, and well frankly, she's gifted. Her items are all handmade and created with love. My personal favorite are the reuseable snack bags. They are adorable and definitely eco-friendly. These little gems are lined with vinyl, and have a velcro liner. Wipe, use, repeat, ENJOY!

Greyson's Gift

I've seen alot of Blogs about demise since I lost Joseph. There are lots of women that find amazing ways to reach out after the lost of their child. I came across this blog,click here. I am posting this in honor of her Greyson.


Each new life...
No Matter how fragile or brief...
Forever changes the world.



Posted by Meryntha
I am looking for your help. Hospitals all across the country are in need of small, very small, baby blankets. In cases of fetal demise, babies are so tiny, even the smallest nursery blanket is much too big to wrap around their tiny bodies.

I know how parents feel when they are presented with their tiny baby, for the first and last time. Having to deal with a large blanket that doesn't fit, is a distraction. And, unnecessary.

If you can sew or crotchet/knit, would you please help me to supply blankets for these mothers?

My doctor informed me that 30% of all pregnancies end in fetal demise!

I know we can make a small yet, dramatic difference in the experience these mothers and fathers have in the hospital. It is heartbreaking for the nurses to try and present these tiny babies in the best way possible to grieving parents. They are extremely appreciative of any donations we can give.


If you can sew a straight line you can do this :) Hey, it doesn't even have to be a straight line when you sew it with love. I received some really beautiful blankets when Joseph died. I remember the nurse coming into my room at like 5 am with a soft fleece blanket, creatively edged. She tucked it under my pillow next to my head and said, "the Young Women made this for you." I pretended to sleep while my heart ached. Did they make this blanket specifically for me? no. But I could feel that they made it with love for someone who needed that love.
This is a good cause. If you're looking for something for your axillary to do, this is it! If you just want to do something good on your own, this is it. Hospitals will take donations of ANY number you don't have to have exactly 48 to do this. If you are gifted with crochet this is something that is very nice as well, http://www.touchinglittlelives.org/fetaldem.
Remember a time when you needed love and someone stepped in. The blanket I recieved I slept with for the first two weeks after Joseph's death. It soaked all my tears, and was held to my heart while it ached for missing my son. No gift is overlooked.

Silly Sam

This is so typical, but still soooo funny!

Jarom was beyond excited for the first day of school yesterday. He was, of course, up at the crack of dawn and was more than ready to go by 7 am. I think the most exciting thing to him was being able to eat lunch AT school. Jarom is happy to be back in school and we're happy that he likes school.

Happy Birthday JASON :)

I know that I am late posting this since his birthday was Saturday July 25th, buuut in my defense we have been super busy (at least thats my story ;)) .
Saturday, Jason celebrated his 31st birthday with a super fancy breakfast made by, who else? McDonald's! Anyone who knows Jason knows that he has a deep rooted love for the Sausage McMuffin, much like egg McEdwards. We had lots of fun eating our breakfast and then Jason opened presents. He was so funny to watch open presents, because I'm pretty sure that after 13 years of getting gifts from me he knows what I am going to buy him, lol! He acted surprised. His sister Barbara watched the boys so we could go to The Boondocks and play. We mini-golfed and Jason on his last swing got the golf ball in the kimono dragons mouth and it spit out fire. It was truly awesome. Then we went inside and rode the 4-d roller coaster. As if all that wasn't enough we had gotten some free token so we played video games and Jason won big on Deal or No Deal. I thought it was impossible for the day to get any better, but sure enough Jason took me, on HIS birthday to my favorite scrapbooking store. He truly amazes me everyday. The last thing that I would want to do on my birthday is watch international soccer, but maybe this year i'll have to give it a try since he was so generous with his day.
Through out all our many ups and downs these past few weeks Jason has shown me more love and compassion than I every imagined a human body could demonstrate. He has wrestled with three boys, made dinner, cleaned house, washed laundry, fielded phone calls, organized childcare, confirmed dr. appointments, held me while I cried (countless hours were spent in this pursuit), all this while still maintaining his normal work schedule, and working out his own grief. I always knew that Jason was someone special. There has never been a doubt in my mind that he was perfect for me, but feeling a little like Lois Lane, I never realized that he was a Superman until he showed me. Thanks Jason for all your love and strength! I hope you had a WONDERFUL birthday, and I hope to share many more with you :)

<3
Mindy

Learning every day

The last three weeks have been a beautiful blur. My heart feels wonderfully buffered by my support system. I read this list today and thought of all the essential truth it provides. I wish I would have taken it to heart sooner:

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.

4. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

5. Pay off your credit cards every month.

6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.

8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.

9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.

10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.

12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.

13. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.

15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.

16. Life is too short for long pity parties. Get busy living, or get busy dying.

17. You can get through anything if you stay put in today.

18. A writer writes. If you want to be a writer, write.

19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.

20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.

21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.

22. Overprepare, then go with the flow.

23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.

24. The most important sex organ is the brain.

25. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.

26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: "In five years, will this matter?"

27. Always choose life.

28. Forgive everyone everything.

29. What other people think of you is none of your business.

30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.

31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

32. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.

33. Believe in miracles.

34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.

35. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.

36. Growing old beats the alternative - dying young.

37. Your children get only one childhood. Make it memorable.

38. Read the Psalms. They cover every human emotion.

39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.

41. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

42. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.

43. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.

44. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

45. The best is yet to come.

46. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

47. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

48. If you don't ask, you don't get.

49. Yield.

50. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.

My new heart, the one God gave me after the other one broke :), tells me that its okay to have a simple pleasure kind of life. Before Joseph died I was so focused on all the "stuff" that I had added to my days. Mainly good things: job, kids, church callings, extra kid stuff (soccer, tball, swim lessons, etc), housekeeping, personal enrichment, and anything else I could cram in there. These things in addition to the other things in my life were where I derived a sense of satisfaction for a job well done, or better yet, they made me feel accomplished. After Joseph died I was laying in the hospital bed and all I wanted was my boys. My arms literally ached for them. I wanted to feel their hands in mine, or their small voices whispering " i love you". I wanted to kiss Sam's chubby fingers, enjoy the breadth of Michael's smile, and feel the comfort of Jarom's hugs. My new heart knows that my smallest treasures are my greatest joys. I am re-evaluating the important things to me. I think everyone does this now and again. I feel like that is what is great about the life God gave us you can change your mind or your course however, and whenever you want. I hope that I can look back at this experience in my life in five, ten, or fifteen years from now and say, "that is when I started living my BEST life."
I think that's Joseph's legacy to our family. What a great gift!!!!!!

One Week

I want to use my blog as the forum for telling as many of you as I can that we really appreciate all the kind emails, comments, and sweet thoughts that have come to us in the last week. It has been a really hard, but great week, filled with really sweet moments but some especially difficult lows. On Monday, what I refer to as my "monumental worst day" we had to go to the funeral home and select Joseph's casket and headstone. I wanted to go for nothing more than to be close to my son. They gave us back the blanket he had been swaddled in and they dressed him in clothing that was hand-made by a very thoughtful woman. As you can imagine this was tough. The worst part came after we had made all the arrangements and I started to have a panic attack in the mortuary. My chest hurt so intensely and the room started to spin. I ran for the closest exit. All I could do was sit in my van and bawl. I started to wish that I could talk to Natalie. Luckily, she was thinking of me too and my phone rang. Her sweet tone and kind words were exactly what I needed. When I got home I just had to sleep and thankfully Jason was able to field and make calls. He has become more beloved to me than ANYTHING. I always knew that I loved Jason. Now I know that Jason owns my heart. I think that is another post all on its own :).
Tuesday, we buried Joseph. I couldn't handle the thought of this event to I asked Jason to come with me to the Temple. I wanted to feel light all around me. Goodness, grace and God's mercy was what I needed to feel, and I felt that there. I love my faith, and I am so grateful for my parents giving me the seeds of my faith. I don't think that without it I could handle this experience. I don't know any other person better than God, who lost His beloved son, to walk this path with me. He has carried me, and at times instructed my heart. After, the Temple Jason and I went to the garveside and put down white roses. I did better than I thought I would.
Wedensday, Michael was extremely sick high grade fever, vomitting, and well other less plesant stuff. Oddly, I was so happy to hold him and care for him. Michael's sickness reminded me that, while I should be gentle with my expectations of myself, that I do have three other children and they need their mother. Wedensday was my turning point. God would worry about healing my heart, and I will find a new normal.
Thursday, I spent the day on my newest obession, trying to find the right sculpture, painting, picture, or craft item that I can have to memorialize Joseph. This is a common stage with grieving mothers, obesessing over making sure that your child's memory is never forgotten. Jason and I have decided that those who love us will remember him, but we don't expect them to make as big of a deal out of him as us. I found some really great things and got some wonderful ideas. It was my first time out of the house without Jason, and that was scary. Which surprised me. I love people that is why I chose the profession that I am in, but now the thought of people makes me nervous. I'm sure that to is a grief stage. I hope so. I had to call Jason half way through shopping, which I now don't care for either-Jason's pretty cool with that though. I hated bothering him at work. He had a nasty little deadline, and I didn't want to bother him. He was great about it, of course, I went home after that. I just needed to be in my safe place.
Friday, I went to the florist and got some new flowers for Joseph's graveside. I was happy to be greeted by a baby butterfly that was floating around Joseph's site. I cried, and thanked him for giving me the gift of being his mother. I talked to him for awhile and then drove home. I left with my heart smiling. That's a good day.


That's pretty much what we have done this week. We are again very grateful for the sweet thoughts that have been shared with us. Our hearts are mending and we are finding immense comfort in your support. I truly think that each one of us are God's hands to do for others what He would want. Thanks for putting those hands into action for my family.

Joseph David Lee Edwards

JOSEPH DAVID LEE EDWARDS
July 3, 2009
12:15 p.m.
4.2 oz
7"

I tried to find a good image, and given his size I didn't want to offend any of our viewers. I wanted to first write and say thank you to all of Jason's siblings for allowing us to bury Joseph at the head of Grandma and Grandpa Edwards grave. I don't think that you can comprehend the measure of comfort that this provides knowing that he isn't just out there all by himself. I know his spirit is with them so it seemed appropriate that his body should also be there. We feel very strongly that it was GranMary who received him and we all know that she loved to hold a baby. We are grateful for your love and especially your kind words. Please don't feel bad if you don't know what to say to us. Truth be told we are trying to figure out how to respond given the circumstances, and most of the time we are without words as well. The most comforting words that we are hearing, are "i love you!".
While we are sad our comfort is family, friends, and our beliefs. Joseph's death, while very heartbreaking, gives us something to strive for. Jason and I want to be good enough to have the chance to raise our son in the next life. Having seen his sweet face makes us want to know him. To hold him again.
We are looking forward to happier times ahead, and again we want to thank Super Auntie Barbara for being so great. I know that this distracted from your plans and you didn't hesitate one bit which made a tough time, especially for the boys, a whole lot easier. THANK YOU!!

First Hair Cut !!

Today, Sam got his first haircut!!! I was planning on waiting until after his birthday. I actually, really hate to have my kids hair cut because then they look so much older to me :(. Anyway, my stylist Kelsey is going on maternity leave next week so I had to act fast ;). Sam cried at first and was gripping onto Jason's shirt like a little kitten. Once he realized that this wasn't actually hurting him and his binkie was securely placed in his mouth he was just fine. In my opinion he looks like a totally different baby. As a treat for his first haircut he also got his first few licks of a lollipop which landed in a hair pile on the floor so he literally on had a few licks!!

Funny Sam

I couldn't resist taking this picture of Sam. He had just had dinner and I thought that I cleaned his hands really well, but apparently I hadn't. He just looked so I cute that I could hardly tell myself no to this semi-embarassing picture. Luckily, he was only minutes away from bath time. Tomorrow he gets his first haircut and I am starting to get a little nervous, because he's still so little to me, but as you can tell by the picture he has hair to spare. Lets just hope that is always the case :)

Peace Lily

This post is for my mom who wanted to see the plant that was sent in our family name to the viewing for my mother-in-law. Its hard to tell because the camera is angled down but this plant is actually taller than my 3 yr. old. The plant is also wider than he is tall. He wanted his picture taken with what he called the "plant-tree".
Thanks again for the beautiful plant, family :-)

Tooth Fairy Frequent "Flyer" Miles

The Tooth Fairy doesn't need a map to our house! On Thursday as we were driving home from the airport Jarom proclaim from the back seat, " I lost a tooth!!!!" We were so excited for him. I have to admit that seeing him wiggle his tooth made me more than a little queasy and it isn't just because I'm pregnant, I think its just nasty-ick! The dental assistant actually told him to wiggle it when I wasn't looking because in the office I was turning green.
All that aside Jarom was eating dinner tonight when he again screamed, "My tooth!!" Now, he's pretty pumped about losing the tooth and getting more money from the tooth fairy, but Jason and I are amp'd about the fact that we don't have to pay a hundred and seventy dollars to have the little sucker pulled!!! At first, Jason's mom thought that a dollar was a little steep to give a kid for a lost tooth since apparently he only recieved a quarter, but a buck beats a heafty dental bill!!
The best part is watching Jarom's amazement at they fact that he is losing teeth. Every milestone that he reaches is a leap for my heart knowing that one day he will be all too grown up.

Gone A Baptizin'

This past weekend Michael decided that he needed to take in a homeless rollie pollie, potato bug, whatever you want to call it. At first, I gave him my standard mom statement,"bugs live outside so lets keep them there." This did not appease him so he thought he would sneak it into his jacket pocket. Hmm...I totally saw that mister. I figured it was a losing battle and offered up one of my jam jars to the cause. Michael went about picking the perfect weed for a home slash food for said bug. Then I noticed so leaves from my rosebush were in the mix, at that point I figured why not as long as he wasn't going to smash the darn thing I was cool. Later, Jarom noticed that there was a jar with a bug in it and asked if he could add one to the mix. Again, why not? I already was outnummbered by both bugs and bug lovers alike. Jarom added his bug and then they promptly forgot about the bugs. This afternoon however they caught a glimpse of the jar and noticed that one of the bugs was "sleeping". So, Jarom took the bug out and fearing for its eternal salvation set about to "baptize" the bug. The conversation went as follow:
J:I baptized my bug!
Mom: What??
J: It was dead so I baptized it.
Michael: Its with Heavenly Father now
Mom: Jarom how did you baptize the bug (at this point I am getting nervous)
Jarom: I held him under water for 14 seconds and then I threw him on the roof!
Mom: (laughing too hard to talk)
Jarom: what? he was dead!!!
Mom: point taken.

He SURVIVED!

Yesterday, was a big day for any employee where Jason works. Because I'm not 100% on whether or not it violates any rules about blogging about the company I'll just call them "work". Work needed to reduced its workforce and yesterday was the "axe day". We have about fourteen or fifteen people in our neighborhood who work at the same company as Jason. All have different jobs but all are their families breadwinners so to speak. On the floor where Jason resides there were seven people who lost their jobs. Some volunteered others were surprised. I can't imagine what that would have been like to have to go home without a job in a downturned economy. My stomach was in knots until about 9:30 am when Jason emailed me an all clear message. I know that work will be tense for the next couple of years as contracts end and they try to win new ones. Jason LOVES his job and wants to be there FOREVER. I have to say as his wife I love sending him to a job he loves, and is good at. I know that he feels accomplishment as he ends his work day. I wish I could say the same everyday that I leave the hospital ;). Work has been good to our family and what we are carving out here is something that not all families in America have. The chance to live in a small town with all its perks, the county fair being the number one perk to Tremonton. There are things that we hope to change by contributing to the community and growing with it. We will always have Missouri in our hearts, but Tremonton is getting under our skin, in a nice way. To those that lost their jobs yesterday, we wish you the very best, and pray for your quick re-employment! For those that kept their jobs, savor it, give it all you got! We feel blessed by Heavenly Father for helping us to survive this reduction.
Here is hoping that the next cut in the fall is less severe, and that contracts sought for are gained!!!!

Twilight "the movie"

From this moment on the Twilight movie will be just referred to as, "the movie". I will say that I was VERY nervous to see the movie. I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE the books and they are soooooo good in my head that I was worried that I would have a difficult time divorcing myself from the book and its movie adaptation. That being said. The movie could have been better. They could have spent a little more money on special effects, not just CGI. The acting was good, don't get me wrong. The ENTIRE cast played their parts really well. For the most part you could see EVERY actor/ess as their character. I need to say that I didn't like some of the artistic liberties that they took. For example, James, Laurent, and Victoria don't kill a guard at the factory, and I was distracted by that. I know why they did it, but it just didn't sit well with me. I know, I know, tiny detail. At one point in the movie I started to wonder if for Stephenie Meyer watching this movie being made was a little like sending your firstborn off to Kindergarten. I would love to ask her that. I am not turned-off to New Moon and am looking forward to Jacob's transformation. Like I said good movie, would love to see them spend a couple extra bucks on special effects. The speed thing for Edward should look a little more flawless, imo! All the HP films have these outstanding effects and Twilight movies would definitely be elevated by this one factor. Oh! and I really liked the pace, regardless of what it left out, you'd be there all day if they were true to the book :-)

Twilight Saga

So it took me exactly four days to rip through these books!!! They were fantastic!!!!!! I can't believe that I hesitated for so long. My patients have been reading these books for some time now and I just didn't seem interested. At first my thought was, "these are kids books". Then I rationialized not reading since they were about vampires and werewolves...umm...okay. I finally couldn't take all the buzzing. I hate when people are all talking about a book and I haven't read it. I feel out of touch. So I decided to go to my local library, which is shaky at best and reserve the one copy of Twlight they had. It came about a week after my reservation and I picked it up. I was in the middle of a so-so book called Moose: A Memoir of Fat Camp. I read the first chapter of Twlight and I was HOOKED. I couldn't focus on anything else. Working, eating, breathing all seemed silly if I couldn't get on with the book. Its a beautifully written love story with bite <--pun intended! Stephenie Meyer weaves a great story and unlike J.K. Rowling she doesn't leave a character unexplained. Don't get me wrong J.K. is awesome, but Stephenie is closing ranks. The story is set in Washington town called Forks, with its lush green setting and dreary forcasts. Forks is the perfect town for some "vegetarian" vampires to live and co-habitate with humans. I don't want to give too much away I want everyone who reads these books to soak them up with no preconceived notions. They are magical like a Rowlings book, inherently lovely like an Austen story, and fun to read in a way that is so very Stephenie Meyer. Besides who can't appreciate a book by a Cougar (Rise and Shout!)!!!!!

Touched By An Angel

Touched by an Angel


We, unaccustomed to courage
exiles from delight
live coiled in shells of loneliness
until love leaves its high holy temple
and comes into our sight
to liberate us into life.

Love arrives
and in its train come ecstasies
old memories of pleasure
ancient histories of pain.
Yet if we are bold,
love strikes away the chains of fear
from our souls.

We are weaned from our timidity
In the flush of love's light
we dare be brave
And suddenly we see
that love costs all we are
and will ever be.
Yet it is only love
which sets us free.

Maya Angelou


Thanks Jason, Jarom, Michael, and Samuel! Also, thanks Maya for putting my exact thoughts into words.

INTRODUCING.......

SARAH


I don't want to give out to many details since my blog isn't private, buuuut I had to share a photo of my newest niece Sarah! We have been waiting for her for quite sometime now and after all the prayers here she is :-)
She is proof that God hears our prayers and answers in His time when it works into His plan. I am so grateful to Grandpa Mickey for the photos. I am sure that the Bransons are on cloud nine along with my parents and the newest Mollus parents!! Enjoy her guys! Draw in every sweet breath, and bathe in every gentle smile. She is litle for now. I have to say that I am excited for you two to have all the learning experiences that being a parent affords you. For me being a parent is an instant connection to Heaven. A newfound partnership with a loving Heavenly Father. I can't imagine what you are feeling right now, but seal it in your heart, cherish it! We love you and want to congratulate your sweet little family on a job well done!

FHE- on Tuesday :-)

This weeks Family Home Evening was really fun. We talked about keeping our house in order, and how when we have a clean home we are all happier and the Spirit can be felt. Our general rule is to pick up what you can when you can, and leave the rest for saturday when our usual house cleaning day is. However, I can't think when my house is too cluttered. It is so liberating to get rid of junk, and yes we ALL have junk in our house that we really can do without. So, for the activity the boys built their own house, well more exactly a bunny hutch since that is what Wilton had to offer. They got to decorate it with candies, and frosting. It even came with three little bunnies that we names appropriately after each of them. One bunny is going into the house so that is why it looks like there is one with no face, lol! We talked about a job chart, following it, and consequences for not doing your job. The thought of not picking up after them is like heaven to me. They sometimes are good about making sure that their clothes are picked up, and of course, when Jarom wants to earn a few bucks he'll ask to clean his bathroom. I would love for the cleaning to be instinctive. I realize that they are still little and learning, but a mom can dream, right?