I can relate

DELETED to spare offense!

Someones gettin' Married!!

Okay, i need to apologize for the pic to start! This was taken last summer when Elizabeth had just gotten bitten by a mesquito, and her forehead swelled like a carnival balloon! This is sadly the most "recent" pic I have of my sweet, smart, beautiful, talented, loving, and now totally unavailable niece Elizabeth. You see readers she is getting hitched tomorrow, and I couldn't be prouder of her. She isn't neccesarily someone who conforms, she plots her own course, and follows her heart. All are qualities that I admire in a person. Not only is she an independent thinker she is also an honest and warm person. She is genuine in her love for others and has a desire to make others happy. When Elizabeth was little I use to pretend she was my little sister. I LOVED when she could come over. A memory that is always recounted whenever we get together is the time that I thought it would be REALLY fun to do her hair. I was so excited that another person would let me style them gooorgeous (sounds better if you say it with any accent). I placed one loving curl on her forehead she has beautiful red hair. Then proceeded to take my pik, oh yes I said pik, and with all the artistry I could muster gave her GIGANTIC bangs. The kind that would make any monster band of the 80's proud. Hey it was the 80's and I was a product of the times. I sprayed my masterpiece with attention to EVERY nook and cranny that human hair possess. After I was done her hair was so stiff it could have withstood any natural disaster that had ever wreck havoc on the earth. I later learned that my sister was not so supportive of my creativity and neither was my brother-in-law. Couldn't they see that a budding artist has no rules, lol!

Anyway, I have always thought of Elizabeth as a kindred spirit. I wish her and Matt the most luck, success, and personal fortune (however they value it) that any two people can have. I hope that they will always love and honor the people that they fell in love with, and grow together in love as they take on their new life. May they always find happiness looking back through each others eyes. Never let a night fall without cherishing the gifts each other has. If Jason and I have learned anything in our mere eight years of marriage it is that what we are as a couple is only enhanced by what we bring into our marriage as individuals. Yes! Elizabeth he will do things that you thought no man was capable of doing after repeated admonishments, but those will be the quirky things that will make you smile in quiet moments. As you add children to the mix, in your own time of course, you will see reflections of each other that only add to the many dimensions that is your love. Lots of love and kisses and most of all CONGRATULATIONS!!!!

Houston..we have a Smile !!!

I don't have a lot to post on this except, how frickin' cute is HE. He just started smiling, like really smiling this Sunday. We have been getting these adorable little smirks, but now we are getting full on smiles, and we have heard a few giggles. This is the best part of being a mom! Bar none!!! These make all those middle of the night feedings worth the blurry vision in the morning. I live for moments like this in my childrens lives it reminds me that life has a lot of simple joys. I look forward to enjoying all of his milestones with him.

Kindergarten is the BEST!

Jarom started Kindergarten yesterday! He was soooo excited, he could barely sit still. He woke up super early and immediately wanted to get his school clothes on. He has pm Kindergarten so I had to nix the put your school clothes on at 7 am thing pretty quick. I folded however and he got all dressed at 8 am. We are talkin' shoes and all. He was then ready for me to take his first day pictures, with the backpack, he kept reminding me. I took several pictures of him and Michael (who thought he started Kindergarten yesterday too). Frankly, those pictures were taken before the sun came up so they were too dark to post :-) Finally, time came for us to go pick up a friend who is carpooling with us and Jarom could hardly sit in his seat he was so excited! They practically ran into the classroom. I nearly missed this shot above since they were so anxious to get to class. His teacher is a wonderful teacher, and she is newer to teaching so she still has that excitement for teaching Kindergarten herself. When I picked Jarom up he said his favorite part of Kindergarten was recess, of course, and making new friends. I asked him what his new friends names were, and he told me he couldn't remember. Jarom did set some goals for himself this year, and one is to write better and the second is to make lots of new friends. Jason and I are really pleased that he likes school so much. He has always be someone to ask a lot of questions and likes to read up on things, so we are hoping this attitude follows him throughout his academic pursuits. We hope that everyone has a fantastic first day!!

Back from Vacation!!!

We had a BLAST on our family vacation to Texas! I love to visit family especially when that family includes all the cousins. My boys were in hog heaven with all their cousins to play with, joke around, swim with, and learn a little Karate (thanks Uncle Wade!). We started our journey on Friday the 8th . We left from Auntie B's house in West Jordan. We drove to Gallup, new Mexico and stopped at what I can only call a "charming" motel 8. The bathroom lacked the charm of a toilet brush but we were so tired we didn't care. Early the next morning we were on the road again driving through ABQ, New Mexico and my favorite city in Texas Amarillo. We made it to GranMary's about midnight, and it was a blessed time to get into the guest bed and sleep. On Sunday we went to church with Auntie Carla, she goes to the nicest ward I have ever visited. I would move to McKinney just to go to that ward, honest!! People remembered my sil and I from May when we went out for the funeral. So nice. Monday was family day. We had a talent show and man our J's relatives talented!! One brother played the trombone while his daughter sang, and danced. His other older brother demo'd some Karate for us. Neat! His older sister's family did a fun little "dance/interpretation" of a song. Man are her kids cute. His brother Glenn sang a song with his wife and did a great job. Glenn's kids did the Flamenco. Sooo darling. Our family sang and did some magic tricks, well I should say J did the magic and little J helped. Auntie B sang a song that she wrote with her husband. It was such a fun song. Tuesday, we blessed Samuel and it was a really great moment for our family. I was nervous before but had a wonderful confirmation about J's blessing for him. We were very fortunate to have my dad come down from Missouri with my sister Karen, and nephew A.J. That made this special day for us even more special. We had family pictures taken and that was a trip and a half. For anyone who doesn't know this already getting a picture with 10 kids under the age of eight is nearly IMPOSSIBLE, but we tried none the less. I know you think we would know better but hey, its for posterity :-) The rest of the week was just chillin' with the fam, and that is where some of the funniest moments were. I mean nothing in specific, but lots of kidding around, talking, and playing games. Oh! and who can forget all the time we spent watching the Olympics. Good times! On our way back from Texas, which we hated to leave :-(, we stopped at Four Corners. It was good times, got the obligatory photo of everyones foot in another state. We left there and drove straight throught to our house in Northern Utah. It was a great vacation and we already miss our cousins, Aunties, Uncles, and GranMary. The one bonus to not traveling though, sleeping in our OWN beds...ahhhhh....! I never new that I loved my bed that much but apparently my body knows better, and really enjoyed the jersey sheets a little extra! I also loved that Utah has like zero humidity, and in TX in was like 85% ...eek! Not good for the 'do, if ya know what I mean . In the end we love our family even more and are glad that we can share special moments with them. Next family renunion is in Utah, ummkay!

This post is an ode to Texas and the motto is "go big or GO HOME!"

What does yours say?

Not to be a Debbie Downer (see photo at left), but my mil made a statement that got me thinking. She said, "Everyday you write your eulogy." Now to me there is no more depressing thought then to ponder your own death. However morbid it may sound it has crossed my mind. Especially, after the death of my fil I have actually thought about death, in abstract terms. I know there was a period of about two weeks that every time I would look at my dh I would wonder if this was going to be the last time I looked at him. Mind you I was eight months pg when my fil passed away so I wasn't in the most emotionally healthy place ;-). I do believe that most people don't like to think on their impending demise for fear that it makes it real. Well, newsflash we were born already knowing that we would , eventually, die. Okay, so you can see where the Debbie Downer part comes in. This is not a post about dying, but rather what does your life say about you. What do you want it to say? More importantly, because its my blog, what do I want my life to say about me? While I don't think that I can answer that question in just one blog entry I can say that I have a few things that I would like for my "eulogy" to say about me.
When I leave this life, a loooooooooong time from now, I would like to be remembered as someone who served others. Someone who learned from her mistakes, and then used that knowledge to better others. I would LOVE to be remembered as someone who really LIVED life to the fullest. I know that my closest friends say that I am funny, and I am okay with being remembered that way. I think that humor does so much for the soul, and not only the soul but the waistline, a good belly laugh burns 3 calories. Anyway, what I am trying to get at is that everyday I am trying to be better than the next in the hopes that my life is more full, and meaningful than any eulogy could ever do justice to. I know this is an odd post for someone who hasn't even turned 30 yet, but maybe its a good thing to have an eye-opening experience such as a death or a well intentioned statement to bring our minds back to our center, what is really important to us. I know that a little re-adjustment is vital to optimum performance in a vehicle, why not in our lives as well?? I hope that as a member of my blog audience that you will take a second and think, what does my life say about me?

Hercules, Hercules !!!

I cannot even begin to tell you how psyched I am that big J fixed the sink. I mean it I am seriously giddy, like a little school-girl!! The old faucet was not only installed wrong in the first place, but it broke right when we had a house filled with guests..ugh!! Happily, that old ugh-faucet is in the garbage, and in its place sits a wonderful, fully functioning faucet in Stainless Steel.

During the course of tenure here, 19 months, J has learned to drywall (thanks Sam), texturize said drywall (again, thanks Sam), install lighting, fix our sprinkler system, and now we can add PLUMBING to that ever growing list of things he's learned. Granted, he did have to make a trip to Ace Hardware, okay make that 2 trips. The first trip was in J's words, "because I didn't have the right tool, like my dad always says 'Have the right tools before you start a job' !" I think that the job turned out beautifully. So wonderful in fact I dirty my hands just to wash them in my new, non-crappy faucet!! Oh, I am so a simple person when the joys of a new faucet fill my heart to the brim with gratitude.

Thanks Big J, your my heeeeero (said swooning)

A Sad Day

Little J awoke this morning to find his pet Goldfish, Lightning, dead and floating at the top of the bowl. In Lightning's defense he lived a long, and full live, and was really beyond his years. J was very upset about his fish's passing and we had a "Nemo" burial , i.e. he passed to the next life on the Kholer Express. There were more than a few tears shed, and leave it to his little brother to remind him throughout the day that we had flushed his beloved pet down the toilet!! I even overheard J making up a song about him and his fish. It was an odd little ditty about a fish that goes away and cannot play. He has asked that I buy him a new fish, but I figure that since I just got him a second little brother maybe we could hold off on getting him something new for a bit. Feel free to email any condolences to my gmail account. I would be happy to pass them on. In lieu of flowers we ask that you hug a fish instead.

These Boots Were Made For Walkin'

I love this picture, it really captured the essence of little M. Please take a moment to look at my child's feet.... I am not sure if my 2 year old realizes that it is 100 deg. outside and he is wearing snowboots. Correction, he is ALWAYS wearing these snowboots. He maintains that they are his "power boots". When M wears said boots he has superhero powers and is able to jump over a building in a single bound. You will also notice that he has captured the red PowerRanger in his hand. For all you PowerRanger fans, you know that the Red Ranger is the leader of the Rangers, and has the most power so its no far stretch of the imagination that my son also believes that he is a ninja master. The most common sound out of M's mouth is "hee-yah", this is accompanied by several sharp karate chops and a couple of well mastered round-house kicks! He is the funniest little person I know.

* Disclaimer: My house is not nearly as filthy as this picture makes it appear :-)

big J's havin' a BIG b-day!

J's having a birthday shout hooray. We want to sing to you today. One year older and wiser too. Happy Birthday to YOU!!

Today is a big day in our house. Big J turns 30 today, gasp! I have been teasin' J about this birthday for quite some time now. My mil is still in town so we loaded up the mini and headed out to J's work to bring him this surprise b-day cake. He was really cute when little M put the traditional b-day hat on him. The hat needs a little explaining. Its our tradition to wear this hat on our respective b-days. The birthday person MUST wear the hat ALL day unless otherwise instructed by their employeer or teacher. It really is great fun and garners the wearer lots of "happy birthday" shouts from random people. The hat has also been know to inspire some singing from strangers too.

I am so glad that J was born he is the best thing that ever happened to me. I know that I am a better person for having him in my life. So, big props to his mom for having him !!!

Enjoy your special day love !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <-there are 30 of 'em

Jumping Monkeys

Okay, so J and M have a special love in their lives. I wish that I could say that I am that "special love" but nay I am not. They LOVE. LOVE, LOVE to jump on the guest bed with their sock monkeys. The boys Texas Grandma made them these adorable sock monkeys, and it seems that whenever mischief is found so too are those monkeys (the sock and boy monkeys).

Texas Grandma is coming for a visit so we needed to change the bed linens and there is no more perfect time to jump on the bed than when it is linen free :-) It's a little hard to see in the first photo, but J's feet are actually off the bed, oh yes he is airborne. Secretly, I love watching my boys jump on the bed. They are soo cute. They say the funniest things when they are playing together and listening to them giggle and laugh when they land makes my heart happy. They truly are delicious little beings.

Blog Repentence

So as a friend of mine, we'll just call her "Jenn" mainly bc thats her name, mention to me that I have been less than diligent about updating the ole blog-a-roo! So, here is the updated and this update comes with a promise that I will be updating and adding to this blog with more consistency, ummmkay ;-)

Welcoming Our New Little One !!

We are soooo happy to FINALLY announce the birth of our son "S". On June 24, 2008, at 12:17 p.m. we welcomed our newest addition. The birth was quick and emotional, but pain-free so mom was very happy :-). S was by far my smallest birth weighing in at a mere 6 lbs. 14 oz. He measure 19.5 inches long, which give his weight makes him a smidge lanky, but he is an Edwards and they build 'em big over there ;-).
The boys LOVE him, and have to be remined, frequently, that kissing him on the face should be limited to less than one hundred times a day. Jason and I are relieved that the boys are so interested in making S feel loved. Adjusting to three is an ongoing process, but I think that I might just be getting the hang of it. Now, if I could only get the boys to behave during Sacrament meeting my life would really be smooth sailing.

Merry Christmas, Ready or Not, here it comes

"Are you ready for Christmas?" I have heard this question about 5,837 times in the last two weeks. I am pretty sure that is an accurate number, just in case you are wondering ;-). The answer, however, is a resounding NO!!! I'm not ready, even though I started shopping in October. Good intentions, right? The last real shopping day is tomorrow and I still have one gift for little J, and stocking items to purchase. I am at the point where I feel like I am buying just to "have" and not because it is something that they will LOVE. This year was suppose to be the year that we focused on the real meaning of Christmas. My goal was to give each child three gifts to symbolize those given by the Wisemen. Now, we wouldn't be giving them myrrh or anything, just keeping it simple. Well, the actual number of gifts has risen a tad, but I still don't feel "done". I haven't gotten that one gift that will be "the one". You know the gift that in 20 years they are still saying, "I remember the year I got ___! Boy that was a great Christmas!"

I still remember my most favorite Christmas ever! It was 1983. I got a girlie, Hot Wheels style big wheel tricycle. I remember waking up at around 5 a.m. and my sister and I tried to keep really quiet. We weren't allowed to open presents until EVERYONE was up, and in a house of 12 people that can be difficult to accomplish. I remember the tree was glowing with what seemed like a million lights. There was a sea of presents. They stretched from the tree in the corner of the front room all the way to the middle of the room. In the midst of all these presents were three trikes. One for Adam (black and yellow, with some red on it), Michael's was exactly the same, and a pink one for me. Oooooh! I was in LOVE! I couldn't read well, but man, I recognized my name on that big wheel from across the room, no lie! There was such a warmth in that room as we opened presents and laughed. As the excitement over who got what grew more and more vocal, remember there are 8 kids opening gift-we were pretty loud, I looked around and for some reason I tried to burn those images into my mind. Even at 5 I was a pretty serious being. I am really glad that I did etch that into my brain. It has served me well when Christmas spirit was nearly non-existent. The Christmas that my dad lost his job, and we were told there was going to be no Christmas I cherished the "big wheel" Christmas memory. I longed to be 5 again. Amidst a sea of gifts and the warm glow of that gigantic evergreen with the million glowing bulbs. Then again when I was eight months pregnant with my first son. I was bound to the state of Utah, and unable to travel out of Provo for Christmas. The memory of the "big wheel" Christmas metamorphasized into what was really great about Christmas in my house growing up. It really wasn't about the sea of gifts, or my dads boots by the tree in a failed attempt to make tweenagers believe Santa really was real. It was about the tradition of love, joy, and remembrance of the Savior's birth. Knowing that the one who came into this world without a place to lay his infant head, would be the Savior of all mankind. He would give all he had so that we would could have life eternal. Selflessness. This is what I want my children to remember about Christmas. Of course, if it starts with a "big wheel" type of memory and evolves to something more I will be thankful. They are still children after all.

So, I guess I am ready for Christmas. As a matter of fact, bring it on!!!

New Job!

Yesterday, I received my "official" job offer, even though the Mammo supervisor already let me know I "had" the job. I am really excited for the opportunity to specialize my training in the Radiology field by learning the art of Mammography. Mammography is a low-dose X-ray procedure used to produce a film or digital image of your breast. The image is called a mammogram. Often, this procedure can identify breast cancer long before it can be detected by a physical examination. This job is a great opportunity not only because the images are so vital to primary care in the field of women's health, but also becuase I only work rotating Saturdays, and NO (yes you read that right!) call!!!!! This means that I will no longer have to worry about the infamous 3 a.m. pager blow up or the call that brings me down to the department only to find that I really didn't need to be there. I am also really looking forward to not having to work the E.R. or the O.R. as neither of these areas are in need of a quick mammogram to dx a patient. I have a lot to be thankful for with the offer of this new job and I am happy to make myself equal to the task. Now of course, when feb. rolls around and I am studying for my mammo boards like a mad woman that will be another story :-)

Reclaiming My Blog!

So I have decided to reclaim my blog back to its intended purpose, sharing with friends and family the random happenings of our life. Now there was a time that I used this blog as my Stampin' Up Website, but no longer. It has been reclaimed!!!!! (there is triumphant music playing in the background)

My sweet little Moo

My little moo! If you could only hear the sighs that I make when I say that. He is growing so big. Today he took, what I am calling, and unofficial first step. It is crazy how that one action has sent me reeling in memories of the last 16 months of his life. J learned to walk much, much earlier. He was fully operational on that front around 10.5 months. M on the other hand is so like his Papi, he will do it, but on his own terms. I admire that quality.
As I started to soak up these memories like tiny bits of sunshine I found myself reliving them. From the moment that we found out that we were pregnant. The excitement in our son’s eyes when we told him that he was a big brother. How fun it was to surprise everyone with our good news in creative little ways. The thrill I felt when I knew we were adding another boy to our brood (anyone who knows me knows that the thought of having a girls terrifies me). The sadness we felt when we were told there was a problem in utero. The gentle whispering of the Spirit when we felt that everything would work itself out. There was lots of exhaustion as we saw every Perinatologist in the greater Indianapolis area. The fear we felt as we went into labor early, followed by the sweet relieve of labor-halting drugs! Anticipation was the next emotion as we met our sweet little on merely days before Thanksgiving. He is the greatest anniversary and birthday present I have ever received. More emotions followed as the first year of his life progressed. Joy as he nursed like a champ. Deprivation as we went without sleep for what felt like years. Heartbreak as we watched him struggle to gain weight, and triumph as we found good doctors to treat him. Elation as he took his first bites of real food and we knew that weight would no longer be a struggle. Thrill as he rolled around on the cheap carpet of our townhouse in graduate school. Reprieve as he learned to sleep through the night. That was thanks to a gentle nudging from Auntie Natalie. Victory as he proudly crawled around our house, like a lion surveying his jungle. As a mother who talks A LOT I felt certain self-importance as he navigated his way through all the words that verbal adults use in a single day and started to gleefully scream, “Dah” or “Momma”.
Now, his first steps are upon me and all I think of is the moment that Dr. Genaris placed him on my chest. I just kept repeating, “its okay baby momma’s here.” I know that walking is a feat that requires a lot of a little body. It also carries with it something that as a mommy I cannot handle…falling. With falling comes bruises and scrapes. I want my children’s little bodies to stay as perfect as they were when entered this world. Of course, Jason tells me repeatedly that falling is how you learn. The reminder that in that fall is a metaphor for what life sometimes requires of us. As a mother walking also means no more carrying them on your hip, feeling that in God’s perfect design that part of your body that you worked so hard to rid your self of really was very handy. Warm snuggles, and much desired cuddles ebb away. My desire for his independence is battling with my instinct to comb his fine red hair, ritually grooming my young one. I am forever his protector, but not from the cold reality that is my pavement. Gravity is no respecter of motherhood.
I just pray that as he discovers his new talent that I will be blessed with a steel stomach and an iron will to restrain myself from grabbing his tiny body as it makes its way to the ground. It is true that learning to walk is the first great lesson needed for adulthood. When you fall down, quickly get back up. Nothing was ever accomplished laying on the ground wondering how you got there. The most important lesson learned is that when you are down is when you get the best view of Heaven. Always look to the one who created you with a desire to better than you were that time before.
My tiny moo is growing up, it’s a fact of life. The forces of human development are against me. I will cheer as he walks, tear as he runs, but all the while have faith that my job as mom is never really done!

I am such a slacker!

Okay, so I have had this Blog for a bit but I haven't been keeping it up well. Of course, my thought is that you can't go back in time and you should just try to be better than you were the day before, and no I have never been in a 12-step program before!!! It's my mantra!
In my effort to reconnect with my Blog, I will say that I had an awesome V-day!! J stayed home from work and we had a family love day! I have never seen little J so pysched, but M was all for playing in the park and going to McD's for yet MORE playtime. It was nice to know that if I wanted to I could have taken a nap or just gone to the store alone. Although, I think that V-day is a made up holiday that carries with it very little value, I so think that there is one positive to it. It makes people think about the ones they love and why they love them. I have never had to struggle to remember why I love J. He is my rock, he helps me to find my center, and work from there. He never "expects" me to be something that I am not. When I am critical of myself, I am a girl of course, I am critical of myself, he chimes right in with what he likes about me. I know that there is genuine love when I look in his eyes. We have a beautiful family, full of fun, and laughter. Most importantly J and I have a family that is tender and it is all because two people fell in love!!!
<3>

Movin' On Up!

Welcome Home Edwards Family!!

On December 30, 2006 we moved our small family into our very first home! It was very exciting to call it "ours" and for big J more exciting to call it "home". He was a little misty eyed when he started moving stuff in and the realization had set it that it was ours. Our entire marriage we have rented and paid for others to have nice boats, and expensive vacations, but now it is our turn to earn something nice for ourselves. We were fortunate to find this place as we had been looking for months to find a suitable place to raise our kids. This house came on the market as we contemplated firing our realtor. It had been on the market 0 days and seeing the price tag I knew it wouldn't be on the market long. I called up or "agent" (I must use that term loosly), she agreed to get us in the home that day. When we arrived we had a really special feeling that there was something her for us. As we walked to the front door we noticed that other people had decided to help themselves to a look-see as well. We walked around and just loved this house. The kitchen was big, there was a playroom for the kids, and most importantly there was a fenced in backyard for them to play in. We made an offer that minute and the rest, as they say is history. Packing and moving were not nearly as blissful as buying the house. We had originally planned on moving in mid-January, but our property manager at the townhouse we were renting failed to fufill his obligations according to our lease and so we ended up moving alot sooner than expected, like two weeks sooner. We had to really hustle to get out of our place. Luckily we had made alot of really great friends in our last ward and they really came through for us. They helped load the truck and unload as well as let us borrow their truck so that we could get some necessary items for our new house. When we first arrived in this town I was very iffy about the size, and the mentality of the people living here. I feared that if I raised my kids here they would also be of a "small town" mindset, and I didn't want that. As the summer turned to fall I started to realize that this town has some really great qualities and more importantly some genuine people that make you want to stay. I feel like we are still a little "big city" for this town, and the fact that there is no Wally world makes it difficult at times, but I wouldn't trade all the Targets in the world for the warmth and hospitality that I feel here in my little po-dunk town :-)

Life is like a box of Chocolates!

M is one of the single most joyous beings in my life! He has the abilty to help me see what my "old" eyes have forgotten. Life is about discovery, finding something yummy in every situation, and being carefree is sometimes the only way to be. He recently turned one so I am compelled by natural law to think back on his birth. On Nov. 21, 2005 I went early to Saint Elizabeth Hospital in Lafayette, Indiana. Jason was in his Graduate studies, but today was all about family. Dr. Genaris had decided that because J was so big, and had broken his clavicle on the way out it would be better to take M a few weeks early. Lucky me, I got to pick the date that M arrived into the world!
My experience in the hospital was pretty typical of any woman who labors in a hospital. I was monitored and allowed to walk on my own until I decided to get my epidural. Let us pause for a moment and give thanks to the man, who through divine inspiration created the epidural....Thank you I will return to my story. Around 5 p.m. I asked for my dream drug, and all went well with the procedure. I was feeling less contraction pains, and was able to focus more on having a beautiful baby boy. My Doctor came back to check me around 6 p.m. and decided that I wasn't progressing on my own and therefor would "break" my water for me. He was very quick and once my water broke labor went very quickly. My contractions came strong and on top of each other, and for once in my "laboring" life I could feel the contrations, not as painful as I thought, but I did have the miracle drug. Everyone hurried to set things up and I felt M ready to go. There was one moment that I felt like if I just pushed a little I could have had him out, but they (the crusty nurse) wouldn't let me. So I had to focus and try to NOT push, very hard to do when you are fully dialated and effaced. The time came that I was allowed to push and with a few good ones M was born 8:03 p.m. It was the best feeling in the world to have him laying with me. He of course, was crying, a natural past time for him, but I was able to quite him. I remember just looking at him and saying over and over, "its okay baby, mommas here" He really responded to my voice and then gave me a very trusting look. From that moment even until this day I know that M was my special gift from God, a way to let me know that He trusts me with his sweet spirits. I can hardly remember that moment without feeling a tear on my cheek. Everyday with my boys brings me closer to discovering something new about the nature of God. Its like choosing a chocolate from a colorful box...what will it be inside?? I am in love with my little box of Chocolates, what will be our next discovery?